Who am I? What's "Ravine Dwelling" mean?

Welcome to my little corner of the web! This is a complete experiment; this may be my only post, it may not. About me:

Name: Brian
Age: 28
Location: Originally from a Philadelphia suburb, presently in Boston
Occupation: Training engineer, which means I travel the country teaching people how to use engineering software

So where does the title come from?

"Have you heard, have you heard?
About this girl who was ripped up by her roots
Have you heard, what she learned?
Like humility - you win when you lose

I have learned, I have learned
The most horrifying nights have an end
I was hurt, I was lost
In the dark I found a way to a friend"

Lately, I've been on a YouTube kick finding songs from the mid-90s that meant a lot to me, and I stumbled upon one that described my situation back then quite well. I was quite lonely throughout high school, but in Oct. 1995, I went to a conference in DC where I had my first ever crush. Through having that crush, I saw the "ravine" I had fallen into, and I saw said crush as the way out. Thus, this song was, in my mind, about her.

Fast forward 11.5 years, and I almost feel like I'm back in the same situation. Here in Boston, I've been stuck in a "ravine" ever since I moved out here...

"I am standing here in my ravine
Once again I see a piece of the sky..."

Every once in a while I feel like I see a piece of the sky, including this past Sunday, when one of my few Bostonian friends graciously agreed to have dinner with me and then play games. It meant a lot. But I know it's not the ultimate way out of this ravine.

"Was a flower, was so frail
And I let the trees grow wild around me
Grew so high, hid the sky
Shaded everything I needed to see"

The ravine I'm in is due to my sin. Traps that my flesh, Satan, and the world have set for me that I've fallen hook, line, and sinker for. Sin that had manifested itself in some ways in prior years, but that God has released the restraint on since I moved here. I'm thankful He's showing me the trees that are growing wild around me.

"Then one night, someone came
Took a knife and ripped me up by my roots
Tossed astray, far away
In the darkest night, I started to pray"

That's what I'm praying God would do to me. Take a knife and rip me up by my roots. Or re-rip me up if you will. It's hard to believe that it's been over 10 years since He first ripped me up, and I don't want to believe He needs to keep ripping me up. I want to believe that at some point, I'll be a good person that He only needs to make minor adjustments to. But as I become deeper involved with Christ, I'm seeing that to be a false hope--instead, the full hope is found in Christ's blood and ONLY in Christ's blood.

"Why do you, why do you ask?
Why I'm not blaming my God?
I'll tell you, I'll tell you what
He was the only one there"

That's the one part of the song that back in 1995 didn't mean anything to me. But now I know, He is the only one consistently there. He is the one showing me my sin, and He is the one who gives me hope. Hope for a future, hope that He will use me in spite of my sin, hope that living in Boston isn't a lost cause.

"I am standing here in my ravine
Once again I see a piece of the sky
And my joy never will be denied
'cause I was meant to be here -The only place on earth
Where you are near, where you are near"--Ace of Base, "Ravine" (from the album The Bridge, 1995)

I know what you're thinking. ACE OF BASE?! Yes, Ace of Base. One of my two favorite bands before I became a Christian, with the other being Garbage. If you want to hear the song--and I think it needs to be heard to be fully appreciated--click on the following:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dXWemmSHKs

It's a live performance from the 1997 World Music Awards in Monaco. Note the person who commented that it's almost enough to make him convert from Buddhism!

Lyrics:

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/ace+of+base/ravine_20003556.html

Thanks for reading!